June 6th - Distractions from the stress, but not our focus.

June 6th, 
We tried to spend this weekend thinking about the wonderful friends and family we have. Sharing good meals and happiness with coworkers at a large party at our current house. We tried to not think about the new place, and the headaches and stress that have accumulated from purchasing this home. We tried to not stress out about the lack of news regarding the roof. We tried not to stress about the current rental situation, we tried to not stress.

We spent Saturday smoking twenty pounds of pork butt, making bean salad, mole baked beans, and smoked salmon dip. Making food for and sharing it with friends always lifts our hearts. We work so well in the kitchen together, and cooking has always been an intimate and fun affair for the two of us to share. This weekend reaffirmed for us that it will be important to us to have the right space to continue doing this, and to continue sharing it with others.

While we were happy to play around with friends in the gorgeous summer sunshine, there was that nagging thing in the back of our minds. The house. Before the end of the week we reached out to the agents and asked for an update on the roof situation. What came back was bleak and felt like a large punch to the gut. The roof was not done, nor was it planned to be anytime soon. The seller had made some huge blunders and was incommunicado with his own agent during the past week. Our trust has been shattered. The agents have been repeating what we already know in our hearts; this is not how purchasing a home is supposed to go. We are now in a position that if this is going to go forward, the seller (and his family) will need to make some drastic changes to the contract in our favor. The biggest concession is that we will take 'credit' for the roof repair and replacement. Meaning that since they won't be able to do it in time, that we will take what the cost of the roof would be off of the offer and do it ourselves. There has been some additional issues and we feel that because of those, the amount that we will be taking as credit will be higher than just the estimated roof cost. How do you calculate emotional damage? Is it fair to say we want to take off more for the added stress? Can we live with making and standing behind a decision to place a monetary value on emotions and stress? Is all of this worth it for this house, and are these all not signs that we should just move on and go away?

This whole roof issue has placed us in a real difficult bind. We need to have everything ASSURED 100% that we will have the house before we leave on the 10th. All of us are unsure that the bank will be able to do such a quick turnaround, and that the sellers will actually get the paperwork signed in a timely manner. We don't necessarily need to have the closing done by the tenth, but we need to know that we will take possession of the house before the end of the month. Issues with our current rental lead us to notify the agency of our intent no later than the tenth. We have to tell them if we intend to move, intend to sign for another year, or will take them up on their ridiculous offer for two weeks in July and more than double the usual rate.

It seems that what we thought was the last hurdle we needed to jump over before we close has become a mountain that we are slogging up. Perhaps things will change for us, and the route ahead will be easier. Big decisions are being made today and over the next few days. This is all before we leave for ten days to Iceland and Holland.  We are both hoping that this whole house deal doesn't taint or ruin our trip, it will be hard to NOT think about it all the time. Especially on those long flights, or when driving places watching the countryside slip past. I hope for myself to find inspiration on this trip, to see a stone I like and want it in the bathroom, or a color for the living room.  I need to keep trying to find the positive in all of this.

Oh... and Happy Birthday Paul!

June 2nd - Japanese Maples

June 2nd,

Still no word on the roof, still waiting to hear what is happening. We are applying more and more pressure on the agent and the current owner to have at least the information and date in hand for us. We would feel a lot more comfortable if we at least had the confirmed date and the name of the roofing company. In a week we will be packing our bags and head to Holland. 

Sad to think that our minds have been so preoccupied with this house over the last month, that we have hardly thought about what joy this trip is going to be. We will be stopping over in Iceland for some fun adventures, then spend a week touring the Dutch countryside, staying with loved ones, seeing old haunts and new sights. While I could be sitting here dreaming about riding the boat through the canals of Amsterdam, or what places I want to see in the Hague.... I am sitting here pondering over what to do with the front entry way of the house.  The house that isn't even ours yet. The house that may yet slip through our fingers because of the roof. 

My thought is that this barren strip in front of the house is perfect for Japanese Maples.  Ideally shoot for a lower bush like one, and watch through out the year as the beautiful leaves add a vibrant splash of color to the front of the house.  Underneath the tree will be natural landscaping with granite rocks, and either Hostas, or a big leafy green plant.  Thoughts are trending towards making the whole front area a mini Pacific Northwest Japanese style garden space. I had thought about planting the whole front area with my favorite flower pair (Shasta Daisies and French Lavender) but, these only look good in the summer, and it would be a shame to not fully accentuate the front of the house year round.  My daisy-lavender duo can be planted elsewhere, and far enough away that Paul isn't constantly inundated by the overwhelming smell. Me on the other-hand, if I could plant it around every window and every door, I would be in heaven. Mix in the smells from the Nootka Rose, Honeysuckle, and maybe some other miscellaneous flowers, and the world will be complete.

Perhaps that whole front space can be redesigned to have a dry creek bed with a solar powered water feature, and many easy care plants. A large portion of the display will need to look good from every angle, but particularly from the driveway looking towards the front door. I think the style of the plantings will blend with the style of the house really well, and the overall effect will be rather pleasing.  Thankfully, we happen to have a friend that is a good landscape architect, and she has offered her help with getting the 2.8 acres of property into shape, and doing so in a way that we can realistically handle and maintain it.

Which brings to mind something I stumbled across a bit ago that I think aptly describes how Paul and I feel about using our friends and family for help. In the homestead community there is this concept of 'intentional community'. It is a planned community that brings together people of different aspects to all work towards something bigger. This isn't a new concept, this is something that is often seen in social, political, or religious communes/collectives/co-operatives. Monasteries are perhaps the best example of an intentional community.  How it applies or manifests into the homesteading life, and the off-grid life, (something we are leaning towards) is where several folks gather together to create a home. One person may be in charge of the landscape, one in charge of farming, one in charge of dishes, etc... Everyone is living together and contributing to the greater good.

Now, we are prepared to have other people live at the house with us, we are making plans for that to be something in our foreseeable future. BUT, and this is a big but, we are not looking to live in an intentional community. Yes those that may end of living with us will be bringing with them special skills or abilities that will be helpful to living this dream. We also know that we have friends around us that believe in what we are doing, and want to contribute to what we are doing, just as we will step up and do the same for them.  In fact, a close friend of ours is going to refinish their home shortly as well (and they live 5 minutes down the road) and they have offered to lend some labor time at our house in order to learn what to do at theirs. When the time comes we will be labor for them. We may all be working towards the same goal, but we are also working toward each others goals and helping each other. We are supporting each other in each others space and allowing ourselves to develop deeper relationships with our friends, all the while not expecting them to do something in order to make our dream and our relationship work.

The whole concept of accidental community can best be summed up by Ester from Fouch-a-matic Homestead in this video.