June 6th - Distractions from the stress, but not our focus.

June 6th, 
We tried to spend this weekend thinking about the wonderful friends and family we have. Sharing good meals and happiness with coworkers at a large party at our current house. We tried to not think about the new place, and the headaches and stress that have accumulated from purchasing this home. We tried to not stress out about the lack of news regarding the roof. We tried not to stress about the current rental situation, we tried to not stress.

We spent Saturday smoking twenty pounds of pork butt, making bean salad, mole baked beans, and smoked salmon dip. Making food for and sharing it with friends always lifts our hearts. We work so well in the kitchen together, and cooking has always been an intimate and fun affair for the two of us to share. This weekend reaffirmed for us that it will be important to us to have the right space to continue doing this, and to continue sharing it with others.

While we were happy to play around with friends in the gorgeous summer sunshine, there was that nagging thing in the back of our minds. The house. Before the end of the week we reached out to the agents and asked for an update on the roof situation. What came back was bleak and felt like a large punch to the gut. The roof was not done, nor was it planned to be anytime soon. The seller had made some huge blunders and was incommunicado with his own agent during the past week. Our trust has been shattered. The agents have been repeating what we already know in our hearts; this is not how purchasing a home is supposed to go. We are now in a position that if this is going to go forward, the seller (and his family) will need to make some drastic changes to the contract in our favor. The biggest concession is that we will take 'credit' for the roof repair and replacement. Meaning that since they won't be able to do it in time, that we will take what the cost of the roof would be off of the offer and do it ourselves. There has been some additional issues and we feel that because of those, the amount that we will be taking as credit will be higher than just the estimated roof cost. How do you calculate emotional damage? Is it fair to say we want to take off more for the added stress? Can we live with making and standing behind a decision to place a monetary value on emotions and stress? Is all of this worth it for this house, and are these all not signs that we should just move on and go away?

This whole roof issue has placed us in a real difficult bind. We need to have everything ASSURED 100% that we will have the house before we leave on the 10th. All of us are unsure that the bank will be able to do such a quick turnaround, and that the sellers will actually get the paperwork signed in a timely manner. We don't necessarily need to have the closing done by the tenth, but we need to know that we will take possession of the house before the end of the month. Issues with our current rental lead us to notify the agency of our intent no later than the tenth. We have to tell them if we intend to move, intend to sign for another year, or will take them up on their ridiculous offer for two weeks in July and more than double the usual rate.

It seems that what we thought was the last hurdle we needed to jump over before we close has become a mountain that we are slogging up. Perhaps things will change for us, and the route ahead will be easier. Big decisions are being made today and over the next few days. This is all before we leave for ten days to Iceland and Holland.  We are both hoping that this whole house deal doesn't taint or ruin our trip, it will be hard to NOT think about it all the time. Especially on those long flights, or when driving places watching the countryside slip past. I hope for myself to find inspiration on this trip, to see a stone I like and want it in the bathroom, or a color for the living room.  I need to keep trying to find the positive in all of this.

Oh... and Happy Birthday Paul!

June 2nd - Japanese Maples

June 2nd,

Still no word on the roof, still waiting to hear what is happening. We are applying more and more pressure on the agent and the current owner to have at least the information and date in hand for us. We would feel a lot more comfortable if we at least had the confirmed date and the name of the roofing company. In a week we will be packing our bags and head to Holland. 

Sad to think that our minds have been so preoccupied with this house over the last month, that we have hardly thought about what joy this trip is going to be. We will be stopping over in Iceland for some fun adventures, then spend a week touring the Dutch countryside, staying with loved ones, seeing old haunts and new sights. While I could be sitting here dreaming about riding the boat through the canals of Amsterdam, or what places I want to see in the Hague.... I am sitting here pondering over what to do with the front entry way of the house.  The house that isn't even ours yet. The house that may yet slip through our fingers because of the roof. 

My thought is that this barren strip in front of the house is perfect for Japanese Maples.  Ideally shoot for a lower bush like one, and watch through out the year as the beautiful leaves add a vibrant splash of color to the front of the house.  Underneath the tree will be natural landscaping with granite rocks, and either Hostas, or a big leafy green plant.  Thoughts are trending towards making the whole front area a mini Pacific Northwest Japanese style garden space. I had thought about planting the whole front area with my favorite flower pair (Shasta Daisies and French Lavender) but, these only look good in the summer, and it would be a shame to not fully accentuate the front of the house year round.  My daisy-lavender duo can be planted elsewhere, and far enough away that Paul isn't constantly inundated by the overwhelming smell. Me on the other-hand, if I could plant it around every window and every door, I would be in heaven. Mix in the smells from the Nootka Rose, Honeysuckle, and maybe some other miscellaneous flowers, and the world will be complete.

Perhaps that whole front space can be redesigned to have a dry creek bed with a solar powered water feature, and many easy care plants. A large portion of the display will need to look good from every angle, but particularly from the driveway looking towards the front door. I think the style of the plantings will blend with the style of the house really well, and the overall effect will be rather pleasing.  Thankfully, we happen to have a friend that is a good landscape architect, and she has offered her help with getting the 2.8 acres of property into shape, and doing so in a way that we can realistically handle and maintain it.

Which brings to mind something I stumbled across a bit ago that I think aptly describes how Paul and I feel about using our friends and family for help. In the homestead community there is this concept of 'intentional community'. It is a planned community that brings together people of different aspects to all work towards something bigger. This isn't a new concept, this is something that is often seen in social, political, or religious communes/collectives/co-operatives. Monasteries are perhaps the best example of an intentional community.  How it applies or manifests into the homesteading life, and the off-grid life, (something we are leaning towards) is where several folks gather together to create a home. One person may be in charge of the landscape, one in charge of farming, one in charge of dishes, etc... Everyone is living together and contributing to the greater good.

Now, we are prepared to have other people live at the house with us, we are making plans for that to be something in our foreseeable future. BUT, and this is a big but, we are not looking to live in an intentional community. Yes those that may end of living with us will be bringing with them special skills or abilities that will be helpful to living this dream. We also know that we have friends around us that believe in what we are doing, and want to contribute to what we are doing, just as we will step up and do the same for them.  In fact, a close friend of ours is going to refinish their home shortly as well (and they live 5 minutes down the road) and they have offered to lend some labor time at our house in order to learn what to do at theirs. When the time comes we will be labor for them. We may all be working towards the same goal, but we are also working toward each others goals and helping each other. We are supporting each other in each others space and allowing ourselves to develop deeper relationships with our friends, all the while not expecting them to do something in order to make our dream and our relationship work.

The whole concept of accidental community can best be summed up by Ester from Fouch-a-matic Homestead in this video.

May 31st - The Countdown Continues

May 31st, 2016

We are sitting here waiting for the confirmation that the roof is completed, or at least scheduled, by the current owner. Everything else has been done up to this point, and everything about this deal hinges on this action happening in the next ten days. Hopes are not high that he will actually have it done in time, but we are crossing our fingers, and praying that we can jump over this last hurdle intact and sane. If things worked out perfectly, we would be closing this week,  Giving us enough time to take advantage of some discounts on flooring (we found solid bamboo for a great price) and have it delivered and waiting for us when we get back from Europe.   The hope would also be that we can get in to the house before we leave for Europe. Not fully move in yet, but get in, tear up the current carpets (which smell like cat pee in parts) and clean the concrete slab. The house has generally been vacant for the past few months, and while the current owner has been there he has been working with most of the windows and doors open to help air out the place.

Over the weekend we received the copy of the full appraisal report. The appraisal came in roughly 20k over what we are offering, and that is in it's current condition with the current roof. With a rough estimate that it will cost 15-18k for the roof to be replaced, we are coming out pretty well. There were some interesting notes in the report, some that I question, others that were in line with our initial assessments. We now hope that the current owner actually comes through with the roof replacement, and to an acceptable level. fear.. tension... stress.... no trust regarding the seller. One more hurdle. We simply need to wait for this hurdle to be closer to us, so we can jump cleanly over it without stumbling and falling flat on our faces.

We have the actual move to look forward to, some of the prep work I tried to tackle this weekend. Moving all of the furniture in the living room, cleaning every surface, steam vacuuming the carpet, sorting through books and paperwork, picking out what we keep and what to donate/sell/throw away. I (Nic) am scared that the time-frame for the move and the first steps of the renovation are too tight, and we will find ourselves at one another throats for all of the wrong reasons.

Memories of sitting around with friends discussing Epictetus came floating back. It reminded me that the difficulties we are facing now, and the struggle we are putting ourselves through, is a waste of time if we do not use it to our advantage.

"Difficulties are the things that show what men are. Henceforth, when some difficulty befalls you, remember that god, like a wrestling master, has matched you with a rough young man. For what end? That you may become an Olympic victor, and that cannot be done without sweat. No man, in my opinion, has a more advantageous difficulty on his hands than you have, if only you will but use it as an athlete uses the young man  he is wrestling against. .... To summarize: remember that the door is open. Do not be more cowardly than children, but just as they say, when the game no longer pleases them, 'I will play no more', you too, when things seem that way to you, should merely say, 'i will play no more' and so depart; but if you stay, stop moaning"

May 24th - Waiting will be the death of me

May 24th

We had a bit of an emotional break from thinking about the house this last weekend when we went to the Victoria Kite Festival. If only for a few minutes, flying kites helped us keep a level head and not succumb to the mounting stress. We don’t even have the house yet, let alone the assurance that we are getting the house, and already our stress levels are starting to rise. Of course, this means that there are the inevitable doubts rising to the surface. Those doubts that were there in the beginning, drifting about as passing thoughts. Perhaps a little to easy to dismiss then. Now, they seem to be sitting on the surface and we are unable to look away from them. Are we making the right decision? Are we getting into something that is over our heads? Will this bankrupt us? Should we just walk away after all of the back and forth, and confusion?  

By tomorrow the Appraiser will have submitted his report, and then we have some real choices to make. If the appraisal comes in over what we are offering we will immediately jump on the next step, and could see ourselves closing on the house before the start of June!  If he comes in under, then we are forced to deal with yet another round table negotiation that we already can foresee as being the reason we walk away from the deal.

Add on top of this, there are the comments (usually subtle and indirect) regarding our capacity to take on this house and the yard. We listen closely to those that have done something similar and they say it is a lot of work. Without a doubt we fully appreciate that this won’t be easy. The hardest part is when folks then look at us, tilt their head slightly and ask us if we are up for it. I can hear the doubt in their words. I understand that doubt, I really do, in fact Paul and I have sat and discussed it ad nauseum. We have talked about our own capacity, and whether or not we are ready to step up to the challenge. When we ask ourselves these questions we don’t find our character wanting, we feel that we want this challenge. It’s hard tho, to not take it personally. It’s hard to not hear what may or may not be veiled in their words. It’s hard to not hear “I don’t think you can do this”.

When these feelings are mixed in with the sometimes well intentioned but frustrating comments that end with “...once i see it, then I will decide what you need”, it leaves us (okay just me) feeling like I am being coddled. That people don’t think I am capable enough to take on this project.  Why must the decision be made by someone that is not Paul or I, why must our decision making privileges be revoked? Are we not capable of taking care of ourselves, or of dealing with the consequences? In some instances I know it is well intentioned, and I am trying to take a moment to understand why it is being said. In other cases it is above and beyond frustrating. I have a lot more leniency for family and friends saying it, and no latitude for strangers that somehow are wrapped up in the finances of this deal.

Live Edge Slab - RAW!!

When it starts to get frustrating, I start thinking about all of the potential and the good things that we are thinking about doing with the house. Among all of the other projects, one of the things that has been on my mind is to use live edge slab wood throughout the house. When we get around to taking out the kitchen wall, the thought is that we will find and refinish a large live edge slab as a breakfast bar. This will tie in with some other live edge slab finished pieces and the all around natural wood elements of the house. While we could purchase these items, and have them professionally installed, the thought of picking our own roughed out slab, and spending the time during the fall to plane and true the board as a project for the both of us, really helps to highlight what makes our relationship so wonderful.

Yesterday we pulled more free samples from bamboo suppliers, still hoping to find that elusive $2 solid bamboo. Or as near to solid as we can get. If everything goes right, we close on the house in the next few days, place the order for the flooring, and potentially have it at the house acclimating while we are in Europe. In the ridiculous amount of researching I did regarding the floors I came across a product that we are interested to use as a part of our floor; Elastilon. The reviews of it here in the states seem to be all over the place, with people complaining it doesn’t have enough history behind it. Yet, the product was developed in the Netherlands, and has a roughly 20 year successful history. It should make a glue down floor fairly easily. All we need to do is prep the slab, lay down a 6mm moisture barrier, then the Elastilon product. To install the bamboo planks you peel back the top and expose the adhesive and lay down the flooring. (for more information http://www.elastilon.com/en/recommendations-elastilon)

Salvage Yard Finds

When there are slow moments at work, I look over the work list, fix some of the numbers, add more items to the list, and round out the details in some of the steps. It is both fun and frustrating. This logistical planning ahead of time helps calm some of my fears about the timeline, and helps me provide complete comprehensive plans to Paul when he asks ‘what do you think we should look for as far as time/budget/difficulty when we tackle ___________?’. Keeping all of this information available in a Google Spreadsheet really makes this whole thing super easy. It means that no matter what, no matter where I am, as long as I have my phone or access to a computer, I have the numbers and lists available. This has proven particularly helpful in remembering to add things to the list that we may think of because of some obscure reference in a random place. Oh, guess we should add shoe rack for front entry, and another dresser for the bedroom. It seems silly that we wouldn’t think about a dresser, but we currently have a built in dresser for my things and Paul has his own dresser. I didn’t even think about purchasing a dresser till I happened to be at the deli picking up lunches for work and was looking over the cookies and brownies in the display case. What the sweets have to do with purchasing another dresser is beyond me, but thank goodness I was able to add it to the list before completely forgetting to discuss it with Paul that evening.

May 25th

Woo hoo!!! Around 9:45pm last night we get an email message from the agents…. The appraisal came in satisfactory!! Man it felt so great to have that come in, one less hurdle we have to jump over.  Now there is just a few more steps and we close on the house. We are crossing our fingers that things go smoothly with the roof replacement, and that we can continue to ride this good karma wave. With the long weekend coming up we will be spending some of our time packing and cleaning the current home.  It may be wishful thinking, but it would be great if we could make use of the holiday weekend sales that many material companies are hosting.

May 19th - A pink spare bathroom... has to go.....

May 19th, 2016

I am trying to capture some of what is going on in the beginning stage without detailing everything that seems to change from minute to minute. So for now I am not writing entries every day. Surely that will change after we are actually in the house.

The biggest hold up at the moment is still the roof, and we are hoping to have everything figured out and moving forward. We thought we would have through the month of July to stay in our current rental, but it appears that won’t be the case. With the trips we have planned, the needed first renovations, and the move, we are feeling a touch stressed that we can make this whole thing happen, and not have something go wrong. The appraiser is set to come out next week, and we are set to close by June 10th. We are really hoping to close way before then. We leave for Europe June 10th and don’t come back till the 19th. That leaves us 2 weeks to move, deep clean both houses, start the renovations, and potentially finish some of the renovations.

I have already set out the plan for what needs to be done, when, how much effort and money it should take, and lists of needed items. Some things have been moved around as far as our planning. Initially we thought about waiting to do the bathrooms, but after a bit of late night discussions sitting in our den chairs we came to agree that we should at least redo the spare bathroom in the beginning. Between this and the painted walls and new floors in the bedroom, we will at least have a space that is ready to use that is comfortable. We have also bumped up some of the preferred things we want for the home (like a hot tub :) ) and created a few more big things on the task list.

Throughout our conversations, one of the big things that keeps popping up is that we will be using the sweat labor of friends and family. We don’t want to forget to show our appreciation for how amazing they are for not only offering, but wanting to step up and helping us to realize our dream. We have planned good barbecues with lots of extra beer and good music. We are hoping that we can pay for some of the help, we would love to pay for ALL of the help, but, no surprise that we are trying to do this on the cheap.  

May 16th - Frustrations mount.... till we plan something fun

May 16th,

It has been an eventful weekend with other things occupying our time. Thoughts about the house have been on the full spectrum of stressful, to resigned, to pensive, to indifferent. We have been stuck in a weird go around regarding the replacement of the roof and the necessary repairs from the water damage. A true roof inspection can not be completed till the roof is pulled up for replacement. There are big concerns over the damage caused by a leaking skylight. While there for the inspection we noticed that the vaulted ceiling in the living room had a noticeable dip around the skylight. It wasn’t at the point of collapsing, but you could see it if you looked. (In fact it is hard to see on the pictures if you didn’t know to look for it)  

To change our frustration level we talked more about our plans to create a small cabin in the woods on the back acre. This would serve as potentially a spare sleeping space for visitors, but it’s main function would be as a writers retreat and hangout space for when friends visit. It’s been a fun little thought experiment to design a 8’ x 12’ cabin. We have to pick the right spot for it in the woods; do we put it next to the stream or along the bluff? Do we build in a deck, how many salvage windows can we find, and where can I find a sailboat stove for a touch of heat if we want it. The plan is to have it simple, rustic, yet comfortable. A lot like my cabin on the island - same size too! Candles in mason jars for lights, maybe an oil lamp if really needed. Extra mason jars for glasses for the drinks that will be consumed with favorite friends, and bins for storage of extra comfy blankets under the platform bed. A slanted roof, maybe overlaid with corrugated metal so you can listen to the rain.

With everything that is going on, it looks like the closing date must be pushed… and we are going to find ourselves in June before we get the keys. Hopefully before we leave for Europe. We talked with the current rental agency and asked about a 1 month extension, so we won’t be hard pressed to find ourselves rushing after getting back from Europe to work on the house AND move. Yet again, we are waiting to hear back from another person before we can set our own timeline.

May 9th - Best Way to Celebrate a Birthday? With a Home Inspection

May 9th

For my birthday, we looked at flooring options and had the home inspection. In general the home inspection went as expected and there were very few surprises. We discovered a second water heater that we didn’t see on the first walk through, some other things that will need attention soon, and for the first time we saw the extent of damage to the roof. There are obvious signs of water damage, the question is if given time the wood will dry out in some places after the most egregious of damage has been repaired. There is a noticeable dip in the tongue in groove ceiling around one of the skylights and obvious water damage. Not catastrophic, but it is scary to think of it as the tip of the iceberg and wonder how big that iceberg really is.

Add on top of this a damaged fascia board, and signs of water damage on the edges of the roof support, it is scary to think of what lies underneath the roof decking.  In the offer we mutually agreed upon it says: “Install a new roof prior to closing as sellers sole expense and repair any associated roof damage before closing by a licensed bonded roofing contractor. Color to be chosen by buyer.”  The negotiations are held up deciding if 100% means that the skylights, fascia, and water damage under the roof decking will be taken care of instead of just the surface of the roof.  

We already know there is a long laundry list of other oddities that will need to be sorted out and looked into if this deal goes through.  We will need an electrician to come out and replace the electrical panels and look over how the generator tie in was done. It appears to be an amateur job with signs of patchy work here and there. Including the line that goes out to the generator through the wall is held in place with duct tape, that has been painted to match the exterior of the house.  The tape has failed, not surprisingly, and there is a 3” hole into the house that is “plugged up” with the ½” generator cable. We love having air holes into a home, helps it breathe right? Maybe we should go poke more holes in the walls for fun and air flow. :)

The breached dam was repaired to a certain point, but further work is needed to make it fully stable before it collapses yet again. The deck has sagged away from the house outside the main living space, but the repairs to fix that are simple enough and something we could tackle. The bathrooms were not as bad as we remembered, but they will definitely need some updating. There are quirks and weird things we will have to work with, like two water heaters and a foam sealed door to the mudroom, and things that we will have to rebuild and repair.  

But for now, we are sitting in limbo trying to make the decision about the roof. We could potentially be jumping into a catastrophic hell hole and blow ALL of our budget on a roof repair that isn’t covered by what the seller is intending to pay. So, if we have to drop $5,000 on replacing the skylights, fixing the water damage to the substructure of the roof, and fixing the facia boards, that is a third of our budget, and potentially means that a bathroom remodel won’t happen (or will be pushed out). Perhaps it means that no I can’t go with the nicer floor choice, and no we can’t install that bigger window in what would be the master bath. Tonight we will have to review the financial planning and reevaluate what this is going to end up costing us, and if we are still comfortable with doing it. The real kicker is we won’t know how bad the roof damage is till they remove the first bit of decking and can actually see inside under the roof and above the tongue and groove ceiling in the living room. Let’s just hope that the places that the damage is VERY EVIDENT are the only places that need to be rebuilt. It is a big gamble for us to consider if taking the house with the roof condition is worth it.  

Then…. There is the appraiser. Things will most likely end up going up in the air once again when that becomes a part of the picture. While we figure out all of this and pour over the 84 page inspection report, I am trying to figure out my emotions. After sitting on the deck and seeing how much Paul fell in love with some of the potential, I am really in love with this house, even all of the stupid parts of it, and being in love with a house you do not own yet is a dangerous place to be at.